Everything Burns
by i should know who i am by now
Summary: He wanted everything to burn, to die and be blown away like ashes in the wind, like sand in a sand storm, blown away forever. [[so hurt, so unbelievably vulnerable and there was that trickle of blood at the corner of his lip and oh god all that blood]]
1. Everything Burns

**Everything Burns.**

Okay, okay, I know I'm supposed to be posting up haikus and working on Crimson Raining Tears inside of making some random sonf fic.. but I heard this and I was like.. OMIGEE! This is so Gaara's song..  
But, it has.. 'she' instead of 'he'.. Yeah. Gender issues. So, I'm like.. gonna edit the gender issue.. 

I have a big inspiration for, I guess, the small 'theme' at the beginning of the s-fic, besides the lyrics...  
My favorite brother, Max, always makes promises to me and they're always broken, so I know the pain of one being broken, and a lot of this stuff is all from feelings I have, and personal experiences, so it's pretty realistic, in a way.

Go me.

Gaara's a kid in this.

_THIS SONG DOES NOT BELONG TO ME IN ANY KIND OF WAY_.  
It belongs to **Ben Moody.**

**Ben Moody** -_ Everything Burns_.

Sorry if it's OOC.

**Sorry if it's repeats a lot (_beware_).**

If you check out my profile, you'll find the **link **that inspired me.

And on my profile you can find the original lyrics posted up, though really all I did was change the gender crap into 'he' and 'him' crap.

------------------------o.O.o-------------------------

**Everything Burns.**

_He sits in his corner,  
Singing himself to sleep..  
Wrapped in all of the promises..  
That no one seems to keep.._

Gaara scowled as he sat on the swing, the park abandoned because he had came. No one dared to be where the **monster **was. **_No one_**, and he knew that, though he really _wished _it wasn't like that, because his heart hurtso much, so _badly_, and he was _all alone_, **_all alone_**.

It was exactly one day after Yashamaru had died, and already such **horrible **rumours had started..

'_He killed that poor caretaker because he had a temper-tantrum, just because that **Yashamaru **wouldn't go turn a TV on or get him something.. That's what I heard_.'

_'He just killed that **Yashamaru **because he wanted to see what his caretaker's **blood **looked like. **Sickening**.'_

_'He **murdered **his caretaker, **Yashamaru **I think was the man's name, just because he was mad that something in a TV show happened. Then he tried to make it look like that Yashamaru man blew himself up...suicide. What a horrible **monster**.'_

Closing dull aqua coloured eyes tightly, the boy lowered his head, as if in shame. Today was the day Yashamaru had **_promised_** _(it was a promise, and **damnit**, why did promises **always **have to be **broken**?)_to take him to the park and play with him, but corpses couldn't fullfill _promises_, he knew. All alone he sat on his swing, gently rocking himself, keeping his eyes closed still, concentrating on the noise of the sand shifting around him, and the hurting of his heart, gingerly touching the kanji upon his forehead.

**_Love_**.

Just another promise that no one kept.

_He no longer cries to himself,  
No tears left to wash away.  
Just diaries of empty pages,  
Feelings gone astray...  
But he will sing.._

He wanted to **cry **so _badly_, to feel the tears roll slowly down his cheeks and watch as they fell into the dry ground and were quickly soaked up, disappearing from sight **forever**, though he knew they would still be there. That is, if he _could _**cry**. All he could do now was stare blankly down at the ground, dull aqua blue eyes glazed, **_lifeless _**almost..

But he couldn't get one tear out, even though he _always **felt **_like crying. **Monsters **didn't cry, he told himself, but in reality he had cried the last tears he had after Yashamaru's death. No more tears to cry, and **_nothing _**left to feel except that _horrible _pain in his heart, **_and oh god_**, so _many _**confusing **feelings.

His feelings were so mixed up, there would be **_no _**possible way the red haired boy would have been able to ever write them down. If he could, he knew the only thing he'd be able to write was **_'Hurt'_**, but he wasn't even sure if he would write that if he could. _So many feelings _fighting to be center, and he was _so **confused **_and _so **hurt**_, nothing made sense anymore.

Except **_anger_**. Hatred. Pure, undeniable **_rage_**.

_Til everything burns,  
While everyone screams.  
Burning their lifes ,  
Burning my dreams,  
All of this hate and all of this pain...  
Burning all down as my anger reigns.  
Til everything burns._

Suddenly squeezing his closed, he let a cry out, a mixture of pain and rage, and it seemed to ring through Sunagakure, resounding off the buildings, filling _every _street and _every _ear, making all who heard in shudder from the noise of it. Like an animals **last **cry, it's **_death _**noise. Like an animal that had been _betrayed_, and it felt so _unbelievably _**scared**, so _unbearably _**angry **and **_betrayed _**that it would **die **in such a way. So much **_hate_**, and all of that **_pain_**, like a horribly haunting **_song _**that never _ended_.

Sand roared to life, beginning to swirl around the screaming boy _(screaming so unbelievably loud it hurt) _before it shot out and down any streets, gripping onto any poor fool who was in it's way and wrapping itself around the victim's legs and torso, dragging them back to the source of the screams before the sand moved up, soon covering the victims completely in sand.

Every victim's scream seemed to mingle with the original scream, none able to match up to the pure intensity of the noise, to the pure hatred and pain in the scream. Screams practically filled the air on such a usually calm day, chaos breaking out, and screams seemed to be about all one could hear now.

Some were lucky as the sand climbed up them, crushed quickly and completely, leaving nothing but blood behind, everything completely liquified. Others however tried to scream and cough as the sand forcibly entered their mouths, forcing itself downward and scratching the internal organs to nothing but bloody pulps before the sand finally crushed them, finally allowing them to die. However, they all heard that _horrible _cry before they died, such a **_haunting _**noise, such a haunting song, that never seemed to stop..

The young redhaired boy however, despite _screaming _though his throat felt so **_raw _**and it was starting to **_hurt_**, kept _screaming_, soon hearing the other screams. He didn't _want _to cause all that **pain**, he really didn't, and yet now corpses were being made all around him, the stench of death of blood filling the air.

His anger reigned over the village of Sunagakure as he almost seemed to be 'burning' it, in a sense. Destroying others dreams by killing them just as they all had destroyed his dream of being normal, of having friends and being happy _(and, **damnit**, he would have **smiled **and **laughed **every day and **no **promises would **ever **be **broken **because he would have been **loved **by everyone, and **no one **would **break **a **promise **to someone they **loved**..)_.

But, there was just too much _hatred _inside of him, too much **pain**, he just couldn't **_stop_**, and he _wanted _this to happen, in such a _sick _way, he **_wanted _**everyone to feel that _pain _because **that **pain could **_never _**amount to the pain he felt. Yashamaru had told him that. The pain in the heart can **_never _**usually heal, but wounds to the flesh _could_.

He wanted _everything _to **burn**, to _die _and be blown away like _ashes _in the wind, like sand in a sand storm, blown away **_forever_**.

_Walking trough life unnoticed,  
Knowing that no one cares.  
Too consumed in their mascarade..  
No one sees him there..  
And still he sings.._

Had _anyone _ever **noticed **him before? **_No one _**ever had, and the _only _person that had saw him was Yashamaru, but corpses couldn't see anything, they couldn't see anything at all. Had _anyone _ever **cared **about him, what he _**felt **(he did feel, he really **did**, and contrary to popular belief, he didn't feel violent all the time - wanting to kill everyone he sees, no, he felt so **lonely **and so **hurt **and **betrayed**_) and what he **_thought_**? He had **_thought _**Yashamaru had, but he **didn't**.

He was left knowing that **_no one cares_**, they were all too consumed in their _lies_, too consumed in all those rumours and all that **_fear _**to see the _scared_, **lonely **little boy that was there, only seeing the horrible, bloodlusting monster called **_Shukaku_**.

"I'm **_not _**Shukaku! I'm _Gaara_! **_Gaara_**!" He wanted to always **_scream _**at them to make them _understand_, but _no one _ever **heard **those silent screams until **now**. Filling the village and causing _more _screams, **_more and more_**, **_louder and louder_**. Still he felt like no one _saw _him, no one _heard _him **screaming **so **_loudly _**- as loud as he could and still no one sees him there, but he continued to **_scream _**- to **_'sing'_**..

__

Til everything burns,  
While everyone screams.  
Burning their lifes,  
Burning my dreams,  
All of this hate and all of this pain..  
Burning all down as my anger reigns..  
Till everything burns.

**Everything **had fallen apart for him, everything had burned down to the ground and had blown away (_so far away his small arms just couldn't reach enough, they could never reach far enough, never and so he was **all alone**, **forever **and **ever**_), like grains of sand in a sandstorm, like ashes in the wind, it was all gone, and he was **_still _**alone, **_screaming_**, screaming for **_love_**, for **_hope_**, for a _**friend **(because he was so damn **lonely**, and he **still **didn't want anymore promises to be **broken **anymore)_. For **_acceptance_**.

Opening his eyes just for a second, he saw the sand continue to crush people mercilessly, leaving nothing behind, soaking up all the liquids and silencing only one scream at a time. He was burning their lives with his **_screams _**- his **_song _**- because they had burned _his _dreams, and he would **_never _**forgive them _(not even when he was Kazekage, there would **always **be that amount of hatred for Suna for **abandoning **him in his time of need)_.

All of that hatred and pain, _mixing _and _swirling _around him in the shape of sand, **_burning _**down, _tearing _down, _crushing **everything **_as his anger reigned, and it seemed like it would **_never _**stop until everything was **_burned_**, _torn_, _crushed _into nothing, blown away _forever_, **gone**._  
_

And he **_sang _**and **_sang_**, _screamed _and **screamed**.

_  
Everything burns,  
(Everything burns)  
Everything burns,  
Watching it all fade away.  
Everything burns,  
Everyone screams..  
Everyone screams..  
Watching it all fade away._

He didn't _want _to watch everyone being crushed _(and yet his dull aqua eyes remained **open**, watching a sight that would never leave his mind)_ and hearing their screams mixing with his (_his was just too **loud**, and it beat theirs and he hated that. It hurt his ears so **badly **as they screamed with him, **screaming **and **screaming**, it just wouldn't **stop**_) because it all sounded so _twisted_, so **_horrible_**, and he wanted to throw up from what he saw, from what he was hearing, but it all seemed so.. **_sickenly beautiful _**in a way.

He was watching everything burn, and burn, and burn, fade to nothing, no trace left behind.. Watching it all fade away right before his eyes, everything **_burning_**, everyone **_screaming _**and **_screaming _**and **_SCREAMING_**, and he kept **_screaming _**- **_singing_**, too as he watched it all fade away.

**_Sickenly beautiful_**, with such a _lovely _song being such with it. **Perfect**.

__

Til everything burns,  
While everyone screams.  
Burning their lifes,  
Burning my dreams,  
All of this hate and all of this pain..  
Burning all down as my anger reigns...  
Till everything burns.

The red haired boy was practically _wishing _to see his father _(for once because everytime he saw his father there was that look on his face, so **disappointed **and that **hurt **to see his father so disappointed at him, so **angry **at him that he was a **failure**..)_ come down from the Kazekage's office, walk through the streets and **stop** him _(oh god, why wouldn't anyone **stop **him?)_, stop him from being such a _horrible **monster**_, stop him from killing all these people _(though he swore that every one of them **deserved **to die because they had been so viciously cruel to him, so **cruel **and **heartless **to the so called "**monster**")_, and just **_stop him _**completely.

His throat hurt so _badly_, and he almost thought from the immense pain coming from his throat it would be **bleeding **_(tasting so **horrible **like Yashamaru's blood had tasted when he had cut his finger, and it was such a **horrible **taste that time, he wished he had **never **done that) _because of how badly it hurt. It hurt like everything else did, atleast _almost _as badly, his heart **_always _**hurt the worst though, **_always_**.

His head hurt because of Shukaku going so wild, trying to escape. His eyes hurt because of the _sickening _carnage he was viewing, and his ears hurt from hearing so many **_screams _**that really was all he heard anymore, he could barely hear Shukaku screaming for blood now. Everything sounded so **_alike_**..

That was alright, though, because that's how it **_was_**. Everything was burning, while everyone screams _("**Monster**!" They screamed and screamed before they died, crying and begging for mercy, for help to get away from that horrible beast with such sorrowful eyes, and such crimson coloured hair..)_.

He was burning their lives and watching them blow away _(**never **as beautiful as a sandstorm though, **never **as beautiful as ashes being blown away from the wind, he knew..)_ _forever _because the **_monster _**had gone **wild**, had gone _crazy _and had just randomly started **_screaming_**, started **_singing _**that haunting _'melody' _of such **_anguish_**, and just started _**killing **everyone_.

**_Ha_**. Oh god, only if they **_knew_**.__

Everything burns,  
Watching it all fade away.  
(Everything burns)  
Watching it all fade away...

He couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't **_handle _**the **pain **anymore. Such a sickeningly beautiful site _(though he still wanted to **throw up **because the stench of **death **and the **screams **that filled his ears, and the sights.. horrible..) _and it was just so _bad _because the looks on everyone's faces before they died..

Everyone staring wide-eyed at him with such **_horror _**one would have thought that they had seen a _**monster **(and if they were still **alive**, they would have told you all they saw there was a grinning, **singing **Shukaku instead of that **screaming **- **singing **- scared and **lonely **boy who was so terribly **horrified **at what he was doing, at what he had **done**_), and their screams seemed to go through a cresendo before finally it was **_gone_**.

Everything was burning so _fast_, so **_intensely_**. He was just stuck there, watching it all **fade away **_(because everything **burns**, he knew, everything fades away, blows away, but it was all happening so **quickly **and he was so **confused **he really didn't know what was happening anymore)_ and burn, and all he could do was stand there, grasping at his head, **_screaming _**and **_singing_**, **_singing _**and **_screaming _**as it all faded away, and suddenly he felt lightheaded _(and he felt like he could barely **breath**, suddenly wondering how he could still be singing - **screaming**)_ and dizzy and everything started _spinning_.

Spinning and spinning, spiraling into **darkness**. He allowed the darkness to consume him and finally it was **silenced **_(though he could swear he heard himself **screaming **- **singing**- still for a few more moments before finally it **ended**) _and nothing made a noise, there was **_nothing _**to make a noise. Just blackness and sweet silence _(disturbingly silent, he had to admit) _and there was _nothing_, and _he _was **_nothing_**.

**Nothing at all.**

And when he woke up _(poor, poor Gaara, so confused, so **hurt**..)_ he saw that everything had burned_ (buildings with chunks torn out of them, people's body parts thrown all around and everywhere around him..) _while everyone had screamed, and he had **_screamed _**- **_sung_**- from all of that _hatred _and all of that **_pain_**, his anger reigning over him as everything burned.

**_It hurt_**. He had **_screamed _**- **_sung _**- for so long he could barely say anything as he stared lifelessly up at the sky, feeling that same incompleteness _(that was always there whenever he passed out because Shukaku had **torn **away more of his personality, and more of what had been barely left of his **sanity**) _that consumed him.

Dull aqua blue eyes squinted for a moment as the boy saw his father, the great and mighty Kazekage, loom over him, that same _horrible _look of **disappointment **on his face as always, and he tried to **_scream_**, to **_sing_**, just one last time before everything went dark again.

And once more, he was _nothing_. Not a **monster**, not **_anything_**..

Just **_Gaara_**.

And still he sung.

-------------------x.X.x--------------------------------

Okay, it's freaking long, I know.  
Repeats itself a lot, too.

Maybe it's OOC..  
Most likely..

BUT OH MY GOD IT'S SO LONG.

I'm so proud.

Please read and review? Please?  
I wanna know if I should, like, try to extend it into a real story..

- **Mirango**.


	2. Purpose and Existance

**Everything Burns.**

He wanted _everything  
_to **burn**,  
to _die  
_and be  
blown away like _ashes  
_in the wind,  
like sand in a sand storm,  
blown away  
**_forever_**.

Okay, so, I've decided to make this into a story instead of just a oneshot.

Be warned though, it might suck(as mostly everything I make does) and might be OOC

Gaara's a kid in this, still.

Sorry if it's OOC.

**Sorry if it's repeats a lot (_beware_).**

Yeah, reviewers people-ey people, any suggestions on if I should try to make every chapter a song-fic? Or what?  
Otherwise, this chaptah, I'ma gonna _(excuse the bad grammar xD)_ leave out a song, but ALWAYS at the end I'm going to post the lyrics to _'Everything Burns' _cause.. I'll get sued if I don't.

Ignore the recap if you want.  
Sorry if it seems crappy in the beginning. My father is staying where I live for a while and I have to act like I'm listening to his drunken drones. Boo.

ONTO THE STORY!

And I know that what Yashamaru said isn't accurate so.. cha to you all.

_------------------------**o**.O.**o**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

He wanted _everything _to **burn**, to _die _and be blown away like _ashes _in the wind, like sand in a sand storm, blown away **_forever_**.

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

And when he woke up _(poor, poor Gaara, so confused, so **hurt**..)_ he saw that everything had burned_ (buildings with chunks torn out of them, people's body parts thrown all around and everywhere around him..) _while everyone had screamed, and he had **_screamed _**- **_sung_**- from all of that _hatred _and all of that **_pain_**, his anger reigning over him as everything burned.

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**---xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**_It hurt_**. He had **_screamed _**- **_sung _**- for so long he could barely say anything as he stared lifelessly up at the sky, feeling that same incompleteness _(that was always there whenever he passed out because Shukaku had **torn **away more of his personality, and more of what had been barely left of his **sanity**) _that consumed him.

Dull aqua blue eyes squinted for a moment as the boy saw his father, the great and mighty Kazekage, loom over him, that same _horrible _look of **disappointment **on his face as always, and he tried to **_scream_**, to **_sing_**, just one last time before everything went dark again.

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Just **_Gaara_**.

And still he sung.

- - x.X.x.---

* * *

Dull aqua blue eyes fluttered open slowly, closing once for a few seconds before they opened once more, vision blurry slightly as he blinked, squinting up at the blurred white coloured ceiling. Why was his vision blurry, anyway? He was too young to be going blind, he thought, a frown taking shape upon his lips. He didn't care, he finally decided as his eyes closed for a few moments before opening once more.

Soon, his vision cleared and his dull aqua blue eyes stared almost lifelessly up at the ceiling, unblinking, filled with unimaginable and unbearable sorrow _(because that was about the **only **thing he felt anymore, really. Such pain in his heart, **always **there, **always **taunting him.)_. He allowed a soft sigh to pass through his parted lips, blinking wearily.

How long had it been since he had first passed out? He really didn't know, all he did know is that his throat hurt so badly, so horribly that he wondered if he could even talk, or if that would cause pain. His thoughts shifted once more, now wondering where he was, and if Shukaku had gotten out.

It didn't seem like the tanuki demon had, or else there'd be a medic-nin in the room, or where-ever he was. He didn't know why there would be a medic-nin with him _(though he really wanted to **know**, he just viewed it as one of his millions of questions that weren't meant to be answered)_, but there just always was.

He tried to sit up, only to feel the sudden pain of a horrible headache rush back at him, and his eyes squeezed shut, letting out a small, pain filled gasp as he allowed his head to fall back onto the small, cushiony pillow and he grimaced, curling up into a ball and his hands reached up to his head and gripped onto the sides in what could be considered a frantic manner as those horrible images of Yashamaru came into his mind _(so **hurt**, so unbelievably **vulnerable **and there was that trickle of **blood **at the corner of his lip and **oh god **all that **blood**)_, and the words of his uncle were repeated in his mind.

_"You were not **loved**.." Pale lips murmured to the young redheaded boy who stared on in horror. "You were simply given that name.. as a reason to **exist**.. You were not **loved**.."_

The young boy let out a small whimper as the cold and cruel words were repeated in his head and the scene played over and over, and it wouldn't leave his mind _(because he wanted to **forget **everything, he didn't want to be **alive **anymore, because if **this **would be **all **he felt then he wanted to **die**, **alone**, **scared**, and **loveless **as his Father had **told **him he would die, and Father **never, ever **lied, right)_ no matter how much he thought of something else, those cold words still rang clearly through his mind, accompanied with the soft but sickening sound of the tanuki demon laughing, occasionally suggesting that they go on another killing spree.

"**_Monster_**.."

Gaara did not bother to look up, or even open his tightly closed eyes upon hearing such a cold sounding voice that held disappointment _(pure and clear as the redhead always heard it in that voice, and no matter how hard he **tried **to be **better**, to stop being such a failed 'experiment', the disappointment only **grew**)_.

The voice just sounded so tired, so weary as if the world had dealt the man a heavy blow and he was just sick of it all _(though really he had **barely **anything to worry about, nothing really. He was **happy**, two wonderful children and **one **that had went horribly **wrong**, and what he felt was not even near as **badly **as what that one **'bad' **child felt.)_.

The man glared down at the whimpering child, angrily running a hand through his dull red hair that appeared to be a reddish, brownish colour - appearing more of a brown colour than red unlike his_ (yoursick**monster**disgustingyou'reamistake_)son_(**monsteryousickenmediedieDIE**)_ who had crimson coloured, bright red hair. God, he hated the boy for it.

"D-daddy.." A small whimper escaped the boys lips, voice hoarse sounding - strained and pain filled, showing that it hurt to even speak. The boy began to cry, surprising the Kazekage.

"What? Have a fun time killing everyone, you monster? Listening in your sick satisfaction while everyone screams and their lives are practically burned away?"

"D-d-daddy!" The redhaired boy let out a small cry, coughing slightly and cringing from the pain in his throat, the sobs shaking his whole frail body.

"You are disgusting, you vile monster. You loved hearing them scream, beg you for mercy and yet you still killed them." The Kazekage snarled, a sneer upon his lips as he glared as his trembling son.

The boy had surprised the Kazekage simply by holding back the tears for so long, as the man had thought that his son surely would have broken down sooner. He had noticed a significant change, though, in Gaara _(he was still that sickening, vile, disgusting **beast **that he was born as that, and will **die **like that - **alone **and **unloved **- he'd make sure of it. Gaara was a wasted tool, a **monster **that deserved a slow painful death and **oh god**, he **hoped **that his son - that **monster** - did die that way)_.

No longer would assassins return alive from the mission, "barely escaping" as the assassins would always say. No assassins managed to ever come back now, and when he sent a medic-nin _(because the redhead didn't seem to fear them, seeing as his uncle was one, plus he liked to think it hurt the boy mentally if he sent a medic-nin that even slightly resembled Yashamaru)_ to check upon his son, the medic-nin would always say they found Gaara standing over the lifeless body, a small hand covering his mouth, staring lifelessly down at the disfigured corpse.  
Rarely would they report back saying either that the assassin had managed to escape alive, or report saying a corpse was in the room, and in a corner would be a crying red haired boy.

"D-d-daddy! Stop! I do n-not!" Dull aqua coloured eyes quickly opened and the red haired boy surprised his father by pushing himself, although unsteadily with a hand held tightly to his head, up and off the bed. "I don't like seeing them die!" He cried, a hand briefly reaching up to his hurting throat.

"You lie. You want to kill me now, don't you? Sit there laughing as my corpse lies upon the floor and I take my last breath." The Kazekage glared in disgust at the crying boy.

Gaara's eyes widened slightly and he placed a small, pale hand over his mouth, staring in horror at his father (_and he **loved** his father, he loved his father with **everything** he had because his father was all he had **left** anymore andohgodhewantedhisfatherto**love**himtohewanted**SOMEONE**to**LOVE**him and **NEED** him and, he just needed someone to **hold** him close and **tell** him that they **loved** him more than **anyone** else in the world and that they **always** would because he was **special** to them, he was **precious** to them and they'd protect him and **love** him **forever**, and **hug** him and kiss him **everyday** and show him the **love** he **always** needed)._

"Father?"

"What do you want, monster?"

Gaara flinched briefly before his hands dropped limply to his sides and he took a few steps forward, mumbling his father's name softly to himself, voice still hoarse and strained sounding. He closed his eyes before quickly moving forward and quickly wrapping his small arms around his father in what one could call a one-sided hug. The arms tightened and the boy closed his eyes shut, silently praying his father would hug him back, pick him up, and tell him everything he said was just a big, cruel, mean joke and that he was sorry and that he'd love him forever and ever.

The Kazekage's eyes widened slightly as he stared down at the boy, and he suddenly let out a snarl, hands reaching down as if to pick up the boy, but just as they gently grabbed onto the red haired boy's shoulders, the Kazekage roughly shoved the boy away from him, and felt something hard and grimy slam up against him as he pushed his son away. He himself stumbled back as the substance hit him hard, and the next thing he knew was that he slammed against the wall, hitting the floor only a few seconds later, eyes wide, a dazed look upon his face.

Gaara stumbled back, and as he fell he could have sworn right then and there he could practically feel his heart ripping apart, and it hurt so badly but he felt like he couldn't cry all of a sudden. Everything hurt, but he couldn't cry. _Monsters don't cry_, he remembered his father saying to him once. _Monsters don't cry_.

He fell and felt the sand quickly catch him, allowing him to safely rest as he stared blankly at his father who merely sat against the wall, eyes wide and unstaring at his youngest son. Both eyes wide, surprised looking, staring at each other unblinking, as if silently locked within a staring contest.

"You.." The Kazekage managed to speak, eyes narrowing just slightly. "How dare you.. I created you, you worthless monster..."

And that was enough to break the red haired boy.

With a small cry, dull aqua blue eyes widened slightly, and the red haired boy stood, stumbling for a moment before he ran to the door, yanking it open and hesitating just before he made his move to run out of the room. His eyes flickered to his father who still stared at him, and the boy seemed to be waiting for something for his father to say, as his desperately waiting for just three words to be spoken, but nothing was spoken at first, a tense silence feeling the air before finally the Kazekage blinked, eyes narrowing once again, and his mouth opened;

"**_Please Die_**."

With that, the Kazekage's eyes closed and he was clearly unconscious now, head gently rolling to the side, his breathing even, body limp and motionless except for the slow, but steady, rise and fall of his chest beneath the Kazekage robes. Silence immediately filled the room except for the small gasp heard from the red haired boy who stared in shock at his father.

Had those not been the exact words Yashamaru had said to him before he had blown himself up in a desperate attempt to kill the redhead?  
As much as he hated to realize it, those were the exact same words, spoken in the exact same way Yashamaru had so cruelly said them to the red haired boy.

Gaara sharply inhaled, head beginning to hurt quite painfully before he quickly turned to run out of the room, only to bump into someone. His wide, fearful eyes flickered up to the person, the medic-nin, he had accidentally ran into. As his dull aqua coloured eyes reached the man's face, they widened once more in horror and he moved back, not believing what he was seeing.

"Y-Yashamaru!" He managed to gasp despite the now throbbing pain in his throat.

The medic-nin looked utterly confused, eyes narrowed down at the small child who was clearly imagining things. Suddenly, he felt the sand slam into him, knocking him down as it quickly covered his whole body, leaving only his head visible. Panic quickly overtook the medic-nin and he struggled, scared gaze flickering to the delusional redhaired boy, to the Kazekage.

"Kazekage-sama!" He suddenly yelled, alerting other nearby medic-nins and shinobis who quickly made their way to the source of the noises. "The monster is out of control!" He practically screamed in horror now at the tightening sand.

"Y-Yashamaru, why?" Gaara stared at the medic-nin, a hand still covering his mouth, and he found it rather hard to talk because of how badly his throat still hurt.

Dull aqua blue coloured eyes widened as suddenly the sand completely crushed the man, just as more shinobis and medic-nins arrived at the scene, all eyes quickly staring accusingly at the young boy before panic overwhelmed everyone upon seeing the Kazekage passed out.

"Kazekage-sama!"

"Oh no! The Kazekage!"

Cries of worry arose and they all hesitantly made their way past Gaara to check upon the unconscious Kazekage who had not yet awakened, murmurs filling the room of questioning what the 'monster' had done to the Kazekage, which was really too much to bear for the young boy.  
All the pain he felt suddenly building up inside of him and he felt dizzy, feeling like he would explode from everything he felt, but no one paid any attention to the redhaired boy, who struggled to even get a sentence out now.

"Why? Why doesn't anyone love me? Why me?"

The sand stirred slightly upon the floor but it went unnoticed, and Gaara closed his eyes tightly, hands going into fists and he let out a small sob, but no tears came. His hands went into fists and he turned, quickly running out of the room, his footsteps pounding upon the wooden floor as he ran, a hand still over his mouth, as if trying to prevent himself from throwing up, or simply from the horror he had seen.

_"I understand now..."  
__"**Gaara**..."  
__"That's... **me**.."  
__"I'm alone.. All alone.."  
__"And no one loves me.."  
__"No one can **ever** love me.."  
__"A monster.."_

Gaara continued to run as fast as he could, ignoring the confused, but terrified, looks he received from the villagers as he ran out of the building and into the streets of Sunagakure. He was running in the direction of the house he lived in with his siblings _(and once there use to be Yashamaru, he use to live there, you know. He was so nice and so kind to Gaara, and now he left Gaara all alone.)_ and rarely his father who usually never came home enough.

His head throbbed painfully, and he felt as if he would fall as he continued to run past everyone who quickly moved out of his way as he ran, stumbling a few times but quickly catching himself before he would fall, his thoughts blurred and mixed, but the few thoughts he could understand were those he wish he couldn't.

_"I finally understand, now.."_

_"**Gaara**.."  
__"**A self loving carnage**.."  
__"The **demon**.. the monster who loves **only** himself.."  
__"That's **me**."_

_"I understand now.."  
__"If no one can love me.."_

Gaara forcefully yanked open the door as he reached his house, only pausing a brief, wide-eyed glance at his siblings who had been quietly chatting to each other upon the couch. Now, both stared blankly, almost fearfully at their youngest siblings who stood in the doorway, panting, looking like he was in so much pain, and so utterly hurt on the inside it tore them both apart despite the overwhelming fear of their youngest sibling that had been taught to them by their father.

"Gaara?" Temari spoke, uncertainly, seeming quite terrified as she shifted in the couch, small hands grasping onto the edge of the couch.

"I understand now." Gaara spoke, expression suddenly going blank, hand dropping to his side.

"What?" Temari felt utterly confused at her brother's behavior, staring at him in confusion.

"I understand now.." Gaara repeated, closing his eyes for a few seconds, fingers briefly touching the kanji upon his forehead. "If no one else can love me.."

"If no one else can love the monster.. Than.. I will.."  
"I love only myself."  
"I fight only for myself.."

Temari looked at Kankuro in confusion, trying to figure out what their brother meant. "Gaara-san, are you alright?" She repeated, unsurely.

"My purpose.. to exist.. Is stronger than anyone else's."  
"As long as I have a purpose... My existence will not fade.."  
"I exist to kill everyone else than me..."

Temari's eyes widened and she trembled slightly, quickly wrapping an arm around her younger brother, Kankuro, pulling him in a protective manner closer to her as they stared at their brother with wide eyes, wondering if this was really the same Gaara they had known.

Sure, they knew he had changed from a quiet, timid, affection-needing little boy to what appeared to be a bloodthirsty, confused, affection-needing monster _(but he really **wasn't** a monster, Temari **knew** deep down inside, he was just so unbelievably **confused** because no one, not even her - his older sister, dared to look any further beyond the horrible rumours told about Gaara, but Temari **knew** that none of them were true, but she felt just as pathetic anyways because she was too weak, too **scared** to **try** and **care**)_.

The sandy blond watched her redhaired brother as he touched the kanji upon his forehead once more, a single tear managing to escape. She watched as it rolled down his cheek, stopping at his chin and hanging there for a few seconds, as if symbolizing the ending of her youngest brother's innocence, the ending of his trying to become loved and be the way that everyone else wanted.

Just as the tear finally seemed to lose its grasp and fall from Gaara's chin, the redhaired boy spoke up, his eyes seeming to lose the already small, barely even noticeable look of childish innocence (which Temari knew he didn't really have much of anymore after going what he had gone through at such a young age) and take on a cold, uncaring look that held hurt and emptiness...

"I _love_ **only **myself, and **_that's_** all the **_love _**I need."

**Everything Burns.**

_He sits in his corner,  
__Singing himself to sleep..  
__Wrapped in all of the promises..  
__That no one seems to keep.._

_He no longer cries to himself,  
__No tears left to wash away.  
__Just diaries of empty pages,  
__Feelings gone astray...  
__But he will sing..  
__  
Til everything burns,  
__While everyone screams.  
__Burning their lifes ,  
__Burning my dreams,  
__All of this hate and all of this pain...  
__Burning all down as my anger reigns.  
__Til everything burns._

_Walking trough life unnoticed,  
__Knowing that no one cares.  
__Too consumed in their mascarade..  
__No one sees him there..  
__And still he sings.._

_Til everything burns,  
__While everyone screams.  
__Burning their lifes,  
__Burning my dreams,  
__All of this hate and all of this pain..  
__Burning all down as my anger reigns..  
__Till everything burns._

_Everything burns,  
__(Everything burns)  
__Everything burns,  
__Watching it all fade away.  
__Everything burns,  
__Everyone screams..  
__Everyone screams..  
__Watching it all fade away._

_Til everything burns,  
__While everyone screams.  
__Burning their lifes,  
__Burning my dreams,  
__All of this hate and all of this pain..  
__Burning all down as my anger reigns...  
__Till everything burns._

_Everything burns,  
__Watching it all fade away.  
__(Everything burns)  
__Watching it all fade away..._

-------------------x.X.x--------------------------------

Okay, I really like how this turned out.

Seemed pretty long in WP, but I dunno..

AGAIN! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!  
Give me any suggestions at all.

Should I try to turn this into a Gaara-Sakura fic?

Please, suggestions.  
Review.

Oh, yeah, those parts like..

_"Blah blah"  
__"Blah blah"  
__"blah"_

That's Gaara THINKING! xD

- **Mirango**.


End file.
